Why It’s Ok If Life Beats The $#@! Out Of You
I looked up at the sky, at the vastness of the universe with all its stars and wonderment and mystery. After a while my gaze dropped to the horizon and I stared for a while at that thin line, where earth and sky meet. I watched the cloud formations and various colors that paint the canvas as the sun trades places with the moon. Soon I found myself comfortably appreciating those sunrises and sunsets as they reflected off the waves of the ocean.
Before long I found my eyes following the waves as they lapped up onto the shore, their soothing sounds and overturning whitecaps fizzing as the waves crest on the beach before slowly ebbing back into the great ‘deep blue’. Dropping my gaze further, I watched as the water ran gently over my toes. I can feel the comfort of the soft sand as it covers my feet and then gently spreads around with the oncoming water before it gently sucks at my feet a little with the retreat of the wave back to the ocean.
I’m content, comfortable; breathing deeply with a gentle sigh. A voice disrupts my thoughts.
“Hey.”
At first I look behind me, unsure of where the sound is coming from but no one is there. I slowly turn my head forward and notice that he is standing right in front of me.
It is LIFE.
He doesn’t look at all pleased.
I frown, confused, unsure of what I have done to upset him. I have little time to ponder though I never sense the danger. I never really see it coming. It is only at the last moment that my instincts kick in and I begin to react to the danger.
LIFE’s right hand is moving at an alarming rate and it is headed straight for my face. More specifically, it is the bright red color of his boxing glove which flashes through my mind’s eye milliseconds before he connects.
The pain is jarring. Blood begins pouring from my nostrils as the dull roar of pain begins to ring in my ears and spread through my nervous system. I stagger a few steps backwards from the impact. I have no time to questions. LIFE is advancing and his left hook is already on its way.
I put my arms up now, more instinct than structured defense. I manage to block his hook with my right forearm, though the weight of his punch is truly frightening. My hands are up now, in front of my face, fists bunched as though I might know what I am doing. Truth be told, my brain is just mimicking what I have seen in the movies. Still, I am able to block two more punches, each one adding bruises to the ones before as moth of my forearms now begin to swell.
There is no time to process, no time for thought. LIFE’s assault is relentless and lightning fast. Just as I am able to block another left jab he suddenly and violently swings his right in a loop but with a much lower trajectory. His body pivots as he puts his shoulder in behind the punch. It lands thunderously into my left side, cracking a few ribs with a sickening sound. It knocks the wind out of my lungs and sends me careening backwards off the beach and onto the hardened dirt path beyond.
The pain is beyond anything I have felt before. I begin to panic, desperately gasping for air as I watch LIFE continue his advance. I manage to get my arms back up to defend my head as he begins a barrage of multiple jabs, uppercuts and looping punches. Although I manage to get a hand up to block him, the force of his blows simply bang my arm humiliatingly against my head, sending cacophonies of bells ringing throughout my mind and knocking me further and further backwards, step after step from punch after punch.
What little air I manage to take in is suddenly expelled in a rush as an uppercut lands deep into my stomach, lifting me a few inches off the ground before I take several steps in retreat, stumbling, twisting, and scrambling in an effort to get away from this monstrous attack. My body now bent over in pain, my eyes open to see the cold hard ground beneath me. Fear seizes my heart in renewed panic and spreads faster than light through my bloodstream. Ice cold sweat breaks out on my forehead as alarms go off in ever nerve center of my being. I Can Not Fall. I MUST NOT FALL DOWN!
LIFE senses my fear and springs forward with shocking agility. The barrage comes faster and harder than before and there is simply no way for me to defend myself. The bruises and broken bones begin to mount as LIFE lands blow after deafening blow, my limbs no longer able to protect me as my mind is too numb to react with any semblance of speed to form even the meekest of defense.
In a moment that appears as if it happened in slow motion, just like those movies, I watch helplessly as LIFE’s entire body moves in harmony behind his final punch. His every muscle rippling with power, legs slightly apart as he leads with his right foot and his right hand following over it. I watch as the shoulder muscles bunch with menacing fluidity as the red bulbous head of the boxing glove moves towards me inch by inch. Holding his breath until the punch lands then expelling it in a loud whooshing sound that echoes inside my mind just before the force of the blow registers, I watch as if from afar as the glove contracts into the side of my head.
The blow is crushing. With no protection, no last second turn of the head in defense, no strength left at all, I begin to crumble. My nervous system, jarred by this final hit, momentarily short-circuits and my body begins to cave in on itself, giving in to gravity as I slowly, inevitably begin to fall face forward to the ground.
Surprisingly, my mind flashes with a speed I would not have thought possible given my current state. The flashes, however, are not comforting.
Knowing that I am falling, that all is lost, everything I had as that person standing on the beach with the water flowing over my toes is going for good. I’m losing it all. Only the cold, hard, unforgiving ground is waiting as I fall inexorably closer and closer to it. I know the pain of the impact will be immeasurable yet my mind races not with fear, but with sadness at all that I have lost. Sure, Fear raises its voice in momentary protestation at what will happen when my body hits the ground, yet it is the overwhelming sense of loss that grips me.
Beyond the point of no return now. My body inevitably in the final few feet of the pull of gravity one last flash of desperation leaves my cerebral cortex and spurs on the last vestiges of energy in the nerves throughout my beaten body. In one coordinate series of muscle controlling pulses the nerves frantically command my muscles to turn. At the very last possible moment I somehow manage to drop my shoulder, half turning my upper torso.
The impact as my shoulder hits the rock hard earth is almost too much to bear, but the momentum of my body’s final act does the trick and rather than landing face first, the side of my head hits the ground and I flop onto my back. My arms splay out to my sides, and my legs go limp as they slowly slide out flat before me. None of this really registers with any actual thought as the blow from the side of my head hitting the ground renders me unconscious.
The first sensation is pain. Unimaginable pain. Pain in every part of my being. Stabbing, relentless shards of pain in my sides, in my head, in my lungs, in every muscle and fiber of my body.
Where the stabbing misses there is dull, throbbing, aching pain, and if any other part of me is not aching it is engulfed in spasms as my muscles protest with sharp electric pulses each more painful than the last.
I slowly open my eyes, trying to focus. Somehow, I manage to lift my head just enough to look down before me and there, standing at my feet, is LIFE.
The boxing gloves are no longer on his hands. The look on his face is no longer one of anger, nor is it one of triumph or pleasure. His feet shoulder width apart and his bare hands on his hips, he looks down at me tilting his head from side to side. His brow is furrowed. The look on his face is a mixture of anxiety, concern, and curiosity.
I let my head fall slowly back to the hard cold ground beneath me. My eyes going in and out of focus for a moment. As they come back into focus my brain begins to reorganize itself and it suddenly hits me.
Instantly, the pain is gone. All of it. Multiple thoughts simultaneously flash across my mind.
I realize that when I was standing at the water’s edge on the beach and looking up at the stars and the sky, I was dreaming. My mind had been completely open to limitless possibilities and the vastness of the universe was alive with all that I was capable of doing. But then time went by and I had dropped my gaze from the stars to the horizon. Initially I had wondered what lay beyond it, my mind still curious and receptive I had marveled at the thoughts of what it would be like to explore and discover.
Still, eventually I simply began to gaze at the sunrise and sunset, at their beauty and consistency, until even gazing off into the distance lost its appeal and I began to focus instead on the waves.
Ultimately I became comfortable with the sand over my feet. The ebb and flow of the waves against the shore. No longer concerned with my dreams in the sky or the adventures of the horizon, I simply stared down at my place on the beach, securely comforted by the warmth of the water and the slow and steady erosion of the sand against my skin.
All of this realization flashes before my mind’s eye followed by three more glaring thoughts.
The first is that I am still alive. Despite LIFE’s beating; despite the painful assault and ultimate failure to keep standing, to hold on to what I had; despite the crushing fall and jarring landing on the cold hard ground, I am STILL BREATHING!
The second thought is that now that I have fallen and I am laying on the ground there is nowhere to go but up!
Which then leads to the third and final thought. The most amazing of them all.
As I lay on the ground and my eyes come back into focus, I realize that I am, once again, looking up at the stars!