As I was driving to the grocery store I heard a popular radio announcer discussing how he gets approached by people to listen to their podcasts.
He likened it to a writer always being asked to read other people’s writing.
I get it. It certainly would be hard to have people constantly asking advice or for your expertise when you’re famous, or at least in his case, very well known.
But that wasn’t his point. He didn’t say that this was a constant thing as if he couldn’t get a moments peace from it. No, his point was this. “It’s not my job to help you be better at your job”.
My experience has been that the more successful people become, the more willing they are to help those who are still trying to do so. No, it’s not their ‘job’ to do it, they do it because they understand that no one can make it alone. They know that the only way to become better at something is to be around and learn from those who are better at it than you.
Respectfully, I disagree with the radio announcer. While many may not feel it’s their job to help those who are not as successful in whatever it is they do, it is their responsibility.
When you become successful, truly successful, you’ll realize that helping others succeed is what it’s really all about anyway. Those who fear someone taking their job or knocking them off the perch haven’t truly succeeded. They’ve simply arrived at a plateau and never noticed how amazing the view is and that sharing that view makes it all the more worthwhile.
I talk and write a lot about Passion. It’s my favorite word after all.
I believe in finding and following one’s Passion and often this leads to discussions around the kind of work one does.
This post, however, is not so much about the kind of work, but the meaning of it. Employees always talk about promotions and salaries and assume that these are the primary driving forces behind those who leave a company. My experience, however, has found that while we all would like to earn more, people leave most often because they don’t feel appreciated or that they matter.
Somewhere along the lines they began to feel as though what they were doing wasn’t making a difference, to them, and/or to the company.
So it comes down to a very simple question. One that Seth Godin (someone who very often gets me thinking) posed recently in his post What if you stopped?
It’s such a powerful question. What if you stopped doing what you do? You, of course, would move on, but what happens to those you leave behind. Your co-workers, the company, your clients, those people who used your goods or services? What happens to them? If the answer is simply ‘I’d be replaced and someone else would take over’ then perhaps the answer to whether or not what you’re doing matters is no.
But if the impact would be palpable, If you would be missed, if they might be able to find another body to fill your spot but things would never be the same without you there, or if your clients or customers would want to know where you’re going because they might want to follow you, then you are making an impact. Your work matters. You have found meaning in what you do, and that is a mighty important thing to discover.
A whimsy of colorful family members keeping each other from near disaster and headed for love, a fast-paced distraction of a mountain town kidnapping and attempted rescue, a driven retired Naval officer ‘making things right’ wherever she sees the need for practical mercy and justice, a mysterious and understated antiquarian bookstore owner with the key to a customer’s secret heritage. And more.
This new novel from Michael Jai Grant is a provoking, cinematic read that contends with ignoble parenting, senility and elder-care, and the wispy world of Teenagedom. These are self-empowered women intersecting at vastly different points in their lives; doing the wrong things for the right reasons in an improvised quest to redefine Home. Note: There are no guns in this story.
ASHLEY CORNELIUS
As a nationally recognized spoken word poet Ms. Cornelius’ poetry focuses on her intersectionality as a black woman, social injustice, and self-love. Her work is unapologetic and aims to disrupt and cause people to get uncomfortable and, in the process, grow.
It came across my Facebook feed but I ignored it (ironically because I was too ‘busy’). Then my wife sent me an email with it as a link. (I’m never too busy to read my wife’s emails, they’re always good).
So I clicked the link. The first sentence of Laurie Ruettimann’s Blog references the essay. The second sentence commands you to “read it right now”. So I did, and now here we are with me writing this post about a blog about an essay and you reading it. Have you read the essay and Laurie’s blog? Read them both right now. 🙂
It’s difficult to think I can add more than what these two have contributed in their respective works. I love Laurie’s process for never answering an email from someone she hates and never having a conversation with someone she doesn’t respect. How refreshing! Even better the “never having a phone conversation or meeting with someone who sucks”.
As Laurie found out, “adulthood is complicated”, and the best laid plans and process don’t always lend themselves to the realities of life. As it turns out that’s where most of us run into trouble.
We read posts like this or see a program or video about smelling the roses of life and we get all fired up, until “life happens” and suddenly we’re pulled right back into the ‘busy’ trap of living. Except we’re not really living are we? We’re mostly busy ‘living’ other people’s lives, doing what other people want us to do, or expect us to do in order to ‘pay the bills’ or worse yet so that we can convince ourselves that this is just ‘how it is’.
We’ve forgotten those dreams of our childhood and even the yearning of our adulthood to actually live OUR lives and enjoy the limited time we have on this planet.
This isn’t some pie-in-the-sky post about jumping off the merry-go-round of corporate America or uprooting and moving to some isolated island to fulfill your creative passion (unless that’s what you really want to do). Too often we get caught up in the trap of all or nothing. We think that we must experience something completely and to the fullest extent possible or not at all.
My plea is simply to do something, anything, no matter how large or small, how long or short, but something Every Day to begin reclaiming your life.
Take 5 minutes to read a book, or listen to music (without looking at your phone), or take a walk, or feed the birds or ducks, or go window shopping. Anything, that feeds your soul. Do it for 5 minutes. Do it for a week.
Next week, increase it to 10 minutes.
Keep going. Find out what speaks to you. Reconnect with your life, your dreams, your passions.
After all, that ‘busy’ trap that you’re caught in, how long have you been doing it? And why are you doing it again? Wasn’t the point of all this so that you could have the life you want?
What was that life again?
Maybe it’s time to find out.
COMMUNITY
DEFINITION: A group of individuals, with unique talents, working together to achieve a common goal.
Elevating Community Voices | Empowering Storytelling
The mission of the Journey Institute is to elevate and empower people in underserved communities, especially women and youth, lifting up the voices of those who might otherwise not be heard. To tell the stories of ordinary people doing extraordinary things to help their community.
Forty Eight times I have circled the sun
in this great adventure called life,
A wonderful past year of surprises and fun
Surrounded by friends, my kids, and my wife.
We went to Napa and had plenty of wine
With our very dear friends, lots of good food,
We went back to England, at Christmas time
To see my mum and tour the New Forrest too.
After a brief visit back to the Colorado sun
My oldest son headed off to Japan,
No gap year for him, no frolicking fun
A Marine no less, growing into a man.
We welcomed Lady Guinevere
Our new four-legged friend,
She is youngest and yet without fear
With boundless energy that knows no end.
I’m so grateful for this beautiful place
It feels like I’m living a heaven on Earth,
And cherished friends who bring smiles to my face
You all mean more than these words are worth.
I am thankful indeed for all that I have
And the experience of these past 48 years,
The ups and downs, the good and the bad
The joy, the laughter, and the tears.
But most of all I am humbled beyond measure
For my wife Dafna who completes me in every way,
You are my treasure in this great adventure
I love you more than mere words can say.
So let us start a new journey together
Another wacky wild ride round the sun,
Making memories that will last us forever
Watch out 49, here I come.
After her husband was given a job for a year in Italy, Andrea and the rest of their family joined him on the adventure; and what an adventure it was. Often trying to do the simplest of things, her story captures the hilarity of an American in Italy trying to navigate a country that seems as foreign as should be familiar.
This year, as Valentine’s Day came and went, I pondered what this day was all about.
The day of love.
The history of this day of love is varied depending on which historical site you do your research on, but I’m not here to talk about that. Love is an everyday thing after all, not a holiday that comes around once a year.
It just got me to thinking about something.
Survival. The basic food and water thing.
We’ve all very likely heard statistics like these before:
Providing clean water and sanitation services around the world would cost $22.6Billion a year.
(source: World Health Organization)
To solve the world food crisis would cost $30Billion a year.
(source: United Nations)
Of course it’s not as simple as throwing money at a problem and I’m not a researcher or health expert so this isn’t about what is or is not possible, it’s just something that occurred to me.
Whenever these kind of statistics are thrown around the immediate outcry is for others to solve the problem. The “If we stopped spending so much on war we could….” Or “If the 1% of the world’s wealthy would just….” Or “If large corporations spent money on helping this issue or that issue instead of dodging taxes we could….”
Okay, fair enough, but my thought was… What are WE willing to do?
You know, you and I. Can we do anything without drastically changing our lives, to help those who are in need, in our own communities, our own countries, and around the world?
Or is it only up to THEM? You know, the corporations, governments, and rich people?
Consider this:
According to the National Retail Federation, American’s spent almost $19Billion on Valentine’s Day this year.
$7 to $8 Billion alone on cards.
(By the way, as much as men complain about having to buy for this holiday 85% of Valentine’s Day cards are purchased by women, not men.)
And that’s nothing compared to the big kahuna of the Christmas Holiday season. Again, according to the National Retail Foundation, Holiday sales in November and December of 2014 totaled just over $616 BILLION.
Two Holidays, barely three months apart.
And it’s not just Holidays. In the US we spend $25Billion a year on recreational Golf.
The list is endless, but the point is this.
We can blame everyone else for not doing something to solve whatever problem or cause we want to move forward. But what are WE willing to do?
Would you give up the cost of celebrating one day of the year to celebrate something that exists every day?
Holding governments and corporations accountable is noble and the right thing to do.
Perhaps, however, we should start with holding ourselves accountable first.
Remember that old adage that when you point your finger at someone else, there are three more fingers pointing back at you.
In Peter’s case he was right, but that didn’t matter. The woman behind the counter either didn’t know or believe that he was right, and perhaps worst of all, she may not have been empowered to make that decision.
In this new business-age of global competition and greater customer choice, what matters most is customer service. How we service our customers will differentiate us from our competitors now more than it ever has.
When you’re starting your own business and it’s just you it’s easy to hold true to your philosophy of customer service. It’s much more difficult, and much more important, when you grow and expand that your employees not only share your vision of customer service, but that you empower them to be able to do so.
Questions to think about:
Do my employees know what our business philosophy is regarding customer service?
Can my employees make unilateral decisions to enforce that philosophy?
Have I talked to my customers to make sure our customer service philosophy is meeting their needs?
Do our customers have a readily available and easy mechanism for escalating when our customer service doesn’t meet their needs?
Questions are at the heart of any change. If you need to change some aspect of your business, you need to change the questions you’re asking.
After her husband was given a job for a year in Italy, Andrea and the rest of their family joined him on the adventure; and what an adventure it was. Often trying to do the simplest of things, her story captures the hilarity of an American in Italy trying to navigate a country that seems as foreign as should be familiar.
What if you woke up every day thinking about the person you love. Thinking about ways in which you could let them know.
It’s not all about flowers and chocolate and cards.
Sometimes it’s an unexpected kiss, holding their hand, opening a door, or simply stopping them in the hallway, holding them still as you look into their eyes and honestly, authentically, telling them that they mean the world to you… just because.
What if that was today? and tomorrow? and the day after that….
What if you took time out of your day, every day, to say I love you like it was Valentine’s day.
And if you don’t yet have someone to say I love you to, say it to yourself, because you can’t love someone else if you don’t first love yourself. And write a letter to the love you will someday meet. Get clear about who they are, what they are like, how much you are both perfect for each other. Writing has power. Sometimes you just have to get clear on what you want in order to find it.
Maybe Valentines Day shouldn’t be on February 14th. Maybe it should be on very special days. The ones where we get to wake up and love and be loved.
After her husband was given a job for a year in Italy, Andrea and the rest of their family joined him on the adventure; and what an adventure it was. Often trying to do the simplest of things, her story captures the hilarity of an American in Italy trying to navigate a country that seems as foreign as should be familiar.
My wife and I went to a local gem in Denver for breakfast today called Snooze.
Our waiter said his name was Benny and that he would be taking care of us. The only word to describe him is ‘jovial’. From his ear to ear grin and his light ginger hair, to his witty banter and child-like enthusiasm, he described the special pancake of the day, gave recommendations, and took our order.
I ordered hot tea and a few minutes later he returned with a waitress by his side to ask what type of tea I wanted. When I asked what type of black tea they had he turned to the waitress who smiled and said, “Benny’s training today” which brought an even bigger smile to Benny’s already happy face. The waitress gave me my options, Benny took my order and off they went.
Snooze is one of those places that prides itself on creating unique versions of our favorite breakfast foods and they never disappoint. One tip – you won’t find it on the menu, but locals know to order it – ask for the Cinnamon Roll Pancake, you’ll thank me later.
Throughout our incredible meal, Benny came back to check on us, top up coffee, and clear away dishes. The consummate waiter and always with a huge smile and a friendly word.
After I paid the bill, Benny wished us a “Good everything” for the rest of our day, and we were getting ready to leave when the waitress who was training Benny also stopped by to wish us a nice day. My wife, always eager to praise good service, said that Benny was doing a great job.
We expected her to say thank you or that she’d let him know or something like that. What we didn’t expect was her response.
“Thank you. Yeah, Benny is our Head Chef and he’s learning how to serve”
We immediately called Benny back to tell him how much we loved the restaurant and to thank him for both our meals and our experience.
I had watched Benny during most of our meal because our table was situated near one of the server stands where they input orders and such. Not only was Benny taking orders and distributing checks and collecting payments, he was doing it all. Refilling water and coffee, getting hot sauce or ketchup on request. I watched him meticulously fold napkins with silverware for when tables were cleared. He was very careful to line up the silverware and slowly and tightly roll them up in the napkins so that they were all presented the same.
This wasn’t just something he was supposed to do. He was enjoying himself. It was clear in his demeanor, in his attitude, and in his work ethic.
Business leaders in every endeavor can all learn a lesson from Benny. Great leaders DO. They don’t just sit in their corner offices and delegate. They get out and learn what it’s like to be in the trenches. This wasn’t just an exercise in shadowing an employee, Benny dove in head first. He did all the work and he did it well. I know when his stint as a wait staff is over and he returns to the kitchen he’ll have a better understanding of what his customers expect and what their experience is like and he’ll also have a much better appreciation of what his wait staff go through in completing the experience for those customers after he makes their meal.
Without question, Snooze will be a better restaurant for the time Benny took this week to learn a new skill. I know Benny will be a better Chef and leader there. Then again, it’s because of people like Benny that there’s always a line out the door not matter what day of the week you go to Snooze.
Great leaders DO. Businesses with great leaders show it.
IMPRINTS
Journey Institute Press
Here you will find the various imprints that we publish under by genre. Click an imprint to learn more about each imprint’s books.
No, this isn’t a Dr. Seuss question. Today, however, I did see a ‘Which Dr. Seuss Character are you?” post on Facebook and it got me to thinking…
We all see those questionnaires you can play on Facebook of which (fill in the blank) are you. They’re silly, interesting, and fun to play but ultimately they’re pretty benign in terms of any meaning in our lives.
Then again, what if we played the ‘Which You are YOU?’ game?
The kind of game that helps you determine the ‘You’ you would like to be rather than, perhaps, the ‘You’ you are living.
This game might ask questions such as:
“What is your true Passion?”
“What is one Dream you’ve always had and never attempted to go after?”
“What are you Best at in terms of skillset, and who could you help with that skill?”
“What could you do today that would make your heart Sing?”
“Where is one place you’ve always wanted to visit?”
“Who is someone you need to forgive, knowing that forgiving doesn’t mean what happened was okay, but
forgiving means that you can move forward from it?”
“What can you do today to make the world a better place than it was yesterday?”
“What could you do today to make someone else smile?”
What if you played the ‘Which You are YOU?’ game EVERY morning of your life? And what if the answers to that game actually propelled you to become the YOU that you truly want to be?
Positive thinking. Goal setting. Reaching for your Dreams. This is the foundation of motivation, inspiration, and the self-help culture over the past few decades.
Lately, a new wave has begun a virus like battle to undo this ‘think good things’ movement.
Blogs, letters to the editor, websites, and books are being written to down-play this thinking of old and replace it with a more ‘realistic’ approach.
Don’t fall for the ‘rah rah’ they say. Don’t try and risk everything because most people fail (and thus, the inference is, you will as well).
Now a new supervirus has begun to combat this positive way of thinking. Although the premise is not new, the propagation of it is. It has been referred to as Defensive Pessimism, that old ‘if you believe something bad will happen and then work hard to ensure it won’t you’ll be happy when it doesn’t and not disappointed if it does’.
So the basic premise in all of this is not to get your hopes up. Don’t spend too much time dreaming and for goodness sake don’t actually follow your dreams. Stay grounded, be realistic, and whatever you do don’t drop everything and chase after some lofty goal.
The intentions are well enough. There certainly is a plethora of data to suggest that those who risk foolishly and jump off the proverbial cliff in search for some far off Dream do in fact fail. Of course, there are those who succeed as well, but they are much smaller in number.
This alternate course sets you up to succeed, such is the claim of the virus makers, because by ‘preparing for the worst’ and then working your butt off to prevent it, you virtually ensure that the worst won’t happen.
One might argue that putting forth the same amount of butt-working towards a goal and dream might also ensure its success, but we’ll put that aside for now.
The biggest Achilles heel of this less than positive virus thinking, is that it has tunnel vision. The focus is all about the end result, either the worst case scenario or a goal or dream.
It misses one main, and often forgotten, principle of the think positive movement. Namely that it is just as much, if not more, about the journey as it is the destination. You see if you live day to day with a pessimistic attitude, defensive or not, and work to prevent the doomsday scenario you play in your head, even if you are successful in preventing the end result from happening, you spend all of your time expecting the worst to happen.
That doesn’t seem like a fair trade for the minutes, hours, days, and weeks of your life that are measured by the time you are willing to exchange them for.
Inoculating yourself against such a virus is more than simply thinking positive thoughts. Simply thinking something good will happen has never made something good happen. It takes action to make things happen. However, thinking positive thoughts WHILE taking action . . . that is, as they say, the “magic sauce”.
It’s about the journey, not simply the destination. Positive Thinking in and of itself will not help you achieve your goals. Put together, however, with specific action, focus, thought and the right questions, Positive Thinking will not only help you achieve your goals, it will help you enjoy the journey as well.
Enjoying the journey gives life meaning… or perhaps, it is the meaning of life.
Scroll down to see our published authors with links to their books.
As I was driving to the grocery store I heard a popular radio announcer discussing how he gets approached by people to listen to their podcasts.
